Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
only you would photoshop your dick
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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