i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
