I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
