My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
