The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
