96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Randomize
