Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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