New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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