I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
