Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
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