I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
