how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
