Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
