I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
