are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
