Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
