Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
