I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Panties = found
Randomize
