I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Randomize
