I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
They are going to name an STD after you.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
