I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
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