Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
