Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
