Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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