you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
