is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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