A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I pour the whiskey from now on
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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