Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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