i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
I puked a lego.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
As shirtless as possible
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
