talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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