you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
