Are we in a gay sports bar?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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