If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
