Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
God, I missed his penis.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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