I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
