Only a mothe r could love this liver
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
