I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Randomize
