i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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