Whats the count minus fat chicks?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
