my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
