Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
