Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Randomize
