so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
