God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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