My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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