In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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