My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I touched a dick in church today
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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