I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
now i know why i became what i already was.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Randomize
