over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
