On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Randomize
