We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
