Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
