summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
