I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
