no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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