Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
