You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
