remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
